For me this February marked one full year of journaling every single day. Prior to that I had a long but spotty history with journaling. As a teenager I would turn to my diary when I was overcome with big emotions. In my 20s I discovered those “one line a day” journals and managed to keep it up for several momths before I grew tired of it. In my early 30s I read a book about bullet journaling that inspired me, but I never managed to make it a habit.

More recently I started seeing ads on social media for Silk & Sonder, a monthly journal subscription service, and I was intrigued. The format and prompts are inspired by the bullet journaling method, as well as life coaching and positive psychology. It also has an accompanying app with daily prompts, a podcast, and a community forum.

If you’d told me a year ago I’d still be using those journals today I’d be incredulous.

After all those fits and starts over the years how did I succeed in making it a daily habit?

When I received my first journal in the mail I got off to a strong and enthusiastic start with the help of the 3-week “foundations course” in the Silk & Sonder app. The course is made up of 5-minute daily podcasts by the S&S founder meant to help you set up your journal, introducing the various pages and exercises. And not coincidentally, 3 weeks is how long you need to establish a new habit. I relished cozying up in a chair with my coffee and listening to the podcast every morning.

In those early days I used all the features of the journal, which took a lot of time. I was spending an hour or two a day on journaling, which I carved out of my coffee time each morning before work and my reading time before bed. I knew I would eventually have to whittle down my routine to make it more sustainable, but I enjoyed riding the enthusiasm wave for a while.

What does a Silk and Sonder journal contain?

Each month has a different personal development theme. For example this April was “authenticity”, and May is “simplicity”. The journal will have a few unique exercises related to the theme, usually a couple of writing prompts and an artistic exercise, like a space for vision boarding. There are also a couple magazine-like features that I find a little gratuitous, like a recipe and riddle of the month.

Besides the custom prompts each journal contains these consistent elements:

• A calendar
• Reflection on the previous month
• Intentions for the current month
• Expense tracker
• Daily habit tracker
• Daily mood tracker
• Daily sleep tracker
• A gratitude page
• A weekly planning spread (weekly habit tracker, top 3 goals, meal planner, to-do list, etc.)
• Daily journal entry spaces
• Weekly reflection (rose/bud/thorn format)
• Blank grid-lined pages

Over the months I’ve experimented and refined, figuring out which elements are most valuable to me.

I’ve landed on a set of activities I can complete in 15 minutes a day, plus a longer weekly planning session (~30 min) and a monthly session for reflection and intention setting (1-2 hours).

My current daily routine consists of:

• Writing about the previous day
• Marking my habit trackers for the previous day
• Writing down my “one thing” for the upcoming day, i.e. the most important thing I’d like to accomplish

On Sunday or Monday I do my weekly planning session, which consists of:

• Reflecting on the previous week by filling out my rose/bud/thorn (i.e. highlights, emerging oppportunities, and challenges)
• Deciding on a word I want to define my upcoming week and writing it in big, bold letters
• Writing down my top three priorities/goals for the week
• Setting up that week’s habit tracker with activities I aim to do and target frequencies for each
• Starting a to-do list

And at the end of each month I break in the next journal by:

• Filling out the reflection page for the previous month (wins, challenges, and favorite moments)
• Writing down the behaviors/activities I would like to start, stop, and continue
• Setting intentions for the upcoming month. These are categorized by different arenas of your life, such as physical health, professional goals, and relationships. I find it easiest to use the “more/less” format. For example, for my health this month I wanted to consume more veggies and water and less dessert and beer. Don’t ask me how that’s going!

Outside of these regular sessions I sporadically turn to my journal when my mind is racing with thoughts or ideas that I feel the need to get out of my head. I fill the weekly scratch pad and blank pages with pro/con lists, wish lists, diatribes, and doodles. When my therapist taught me the automatic/alternate thought record technique I did that in my journal, too.

I keep my journal on my desk and take it with me almost every time I leave the house. I love that they’re thin, easily fitting in my purse or backpack. I also love that they’re only meant to last for a month, so they don’t feel too “precious”. I don’t worry too much about my ugly cross-outs or experimenting with new practices that may not stick, because I know I’ll get to start fresh again next month.

The benefits of journaling on your mental health are numerous and well-documented.

So after a whole year of journaling how has life improved for me? The differences are subtle but unquestionable:

• I am clearer on my goals. The writing prompts and life-coachy exercises help me to dream big and clarify what I want out of life, as well as what’s not serving me anymore.

• I spend my free time a little more intentionally. The regular intention-setting helps me assert what’s important to me, and the habit tracking keeps me motivated. Not to say that I use my time 100% wisely now, but I do think I’ve improved the ratio of meaningful to filler activities.

• I celebrate my wins. My journaling routine creates so many opportunities to appreciate what I’ve been able to accomplish in a given day/week/month, no matter how small, and to see how those small efforts add up over time.

• I spend less time caught in mental spirals. It’s so freeing to write down thoughts (especially negative ones) that keep playing on repeat. Getting thoughts on paper actually makes it easier to release them and move forward.

• I’m priming my brain for gratitude. By writing down at least one thing I’m grateful for every day I’ve gotten better at noticing those things in the moment

• My life is well-documented. I don’t have to struggle to remember what the heck I was doing last week or last April. I have a greater sense of self-compassion when I think about past decisions, because I can look back at my journals and remember exactly the frame of mind I was in when I made them.

• I feel more in control of my story. I’m better able to make sense of things that happen to me and extract learnings.

Stay flexible to stay engaged

There have been times when journaling has started to feel like a chore. That’s when I have to remind myself that I journal for the benefits it brings to my life, not for the sake of filling out a journal. I’ve abandoned exercises in the middle of a month (e.g. the mood tracker, sleep tracker, etc) when they started feeling too onerous. I’ve also experimented with different ways of writing about the previous day. Sometimes I’ll write in a stream of consciousness, other times I follow the “GLAD” format (gratitude, learning, accomplishment, and delight), and other times I focus on describing just one event or conversation. I’ll switch between these styles depending on my mood and what’s on my mind.

Similarly, there are moments when I feel a bit stifled by all the intention setting and habit tracking. Some months I’ve been overly ambitious with the daily habits I set out to do. I’ve had to be ok with rewording habits mid-month to be more attainable, having long streaks of “misses”, and even abandonding the habit tracker all together. Sometimes life has other plans for you! The nice thing is there’s always next month’s journal to adjust your goals.

I also enjoy looking at the Silk & Sonder community app for inspiration when I feel like I’m getting in a rut. People post photos of the ways they’ve repurposed various pages in their journals to fit their lives better, for example by turning the monthly expense tracker into an exercise tracker or the weekly to-do list into a ta-da list. Some get really artistic with calligraphy, collaging, and more. Though I like to keep my daily journaling routine tight and repetitive, it’s fun to play when the inspiration strikes!

The app also has Sonder Socials, virtual events for journaling in community. Facilitators host weekly and monthly planning sessions that guide you through setting up your journal and completing prompts, as well as workshops aligned with the month’s theme.

Final Thoughts

Silk and Sonder may not be the answer for everyone. The ultra femme aesthetic and emphasis on self-improvement and positive psychology may not be your jam. But journaling is a powerful tool I think anyone could benefit from. It doesn’t have to look any particular way. You could scribble on computer paper or a legal pad, buy a blank journal at the bookstore, try a different guided journal (just google “guided journal” to see a million options), type in the Notes app on your phone, or use a site like 750 words. All that matters is you’re giving your brain a chance to breathe by externalizing some of the thoughts/plans that are swirling around in there.